Music, demons and the vow of new tracks....

Been fairly black lately. Found that I may have to confront a few demons from my past, specifically one I thought I'd never have to talk about. The few friends who know have been urging me to talk to someone about it for years, but I just didn't want to (makes me sick just thinking about it). However, I think it's time to finally put it to rest if I can. At the very least, it might help to explain why I don't trust people.

Even so, there has been a bright side to this funk, in the form of music. As I may have mentioned before: the worse I feel, the better I play and the easier the music flows out. I don't know why that is - maybe it's to do with the lack of inhibition, maybe it's because the emotions are more readily available and more potent, who knows? All I do know is that lately it's been flowing out of me like tears from an Emo.

I've always loved the fact that no matter how black I get, I can always just pour all the pain and emptiness into the guitar, channel it into a melody and create something that soothes me. THAT is what I love most about music: You can take the most horrid, debilitating emotions/events and transform them into something beautiful or inspiring. That's what I hope to achieve with mine - a sanctuary of familiarity for anyone who has felt what I have; so they know that they're not alone. In a word: Catharsis.

I've decided to post some demo tracks on here, just because I feel like it (and have a bit of time now that I've seemingly gotten things at uni under control). However, they're NOT the tracks that are on the album - those are still technically affliated with Ghostrum Records (and are still in production). They're just simple demo tracks that I've been working on during my funk.

These are just going to be guitar and vocals - no drums or effects (unless I can find suitable equipment) and are VERY simplistic. Nothing fancy, just basic, melodic songs. Just one warning: they're also going to be on the softer side, more melancholic than visceral and some of the vocals might be a little U2-ish. I know I heard a couple of disgusted sighs there.... Pfft, I don't care; I like U2 (Bono's a bit of a twank, though). Besides, I'm doing this for myself for a change; writing what I want, regardless of what people might think.

Basically, I just want to break out of the whole perfectionistic procrastination cycle and put something up. They should be ready within the next couple of weeks. Yes, I know I say that a lot and then get side-tracked. So this time I'm saying that the next blog post will have the demo tracks; I'm not going to post again until they're finished and uploaded.

Anyway, stay tuned for the next post.

I believe them bones are me
Some say we're born into the grave
I feel so alone
Gonna wind up a big ole pile a them bones

Dust rise right on over my time
Empty fossil of the new scene
I feel so alone
Gonna wind up a big ole pile a them bones

Toll due bad dream come true
I lie dead gone under red sky
I feel so alone
Gonna wind up a big ole pile a them bones - Alice in Chains 'Them Bones'

See you next post.